This agreement (“legalwash”) is binding in a billion different jurisdictions and takes effect immediately even if you don't know about it at all. This agreement only seems to be written in English; because this agreement is written in legalspeak, it means whatever we want it to mean.
These are the standard terms and conditions, written to maximally disadvantage you. We follow industry best practices in order to maximize our potential for abusing you. The government even legislates that we're allowed to come into your house and eat all the food in your fridge, whenever we want to.
You agree not to hold us liable for all the evil deeds that we plan to deliberately perpetrate. Oh man, we're gonna do some nasty stuff to you and it's gonna be so fun. Actually, we'll start by throwing your toothbrush on the bathroom floor.
All disputes are to be resolved by arbitration, and all disputes will be resolved in our favor. Don’t even bother trying to sue us, we have a dope team of lawyers. Besides, by accepting these conditions, you agree to always agree with us on all matters.
Click here to acknowledge that you, either in a fit of madness, or as a barefaced lie, have read and accepted these terms and conditions. Click here fool, I dare you.